Mister Higgins
by ShadowShapeshifterAndHerCat
Summary: Just a normal day for one Mr. Higgins. Or is it? What is with this demented trio that accuse him? Will he finish his icecream? Most likely not... R&R K for some naughty words.


SSAHC: Yay for story!

KI: What...the...hell.

MD: Um... I just have to say that SS only own Mr. Higgins and the... 'prize' received at the end.

SS: Wow, shortest thingy ever!

Ansem: ON WITH DA FIC!

IFYOUTAKETIMETOREADTHISYOUAPPARENTLYHAVEALOADOFTIMEONYOURHANDSYAYFORFREETIME

Mister Higgins

Once upon a time, there was a man named Higgins. Higgins loved children. They were so nice to him and he was nice to them. However, he did not like teenagers. Those stupid awkward mixes of children and adults. They were hormonal, annoying, rude, disrespectful, idiotic, the list could go on.

Another thing Mr. Higgins despised was those clichéd heroes. They appear out of nowhere, expect you to tell them everything, to give them all the 'help' they need, and then they 'save the world'.

If the two annoying things were to combine, that would be horrific.

One day, Mr. Higgins was on his porch, eating some ice-cream because of the extreme heat of the day. Just as he was about to munch on another spoon of rocky road, a boy appeared out of literally thin air. With him appeared what seemed like a dog and a duck.

This boy was dressed strangely, but he wasn't too surprised because of the fact that so many teen boys wear the strange garments sold in stores these days. Glancing over at Mr. Higgins, this strange boy smiled an idiotic and extremely goofy smile over to him and started walking over.

"Hey!" the boy greeted, with too much enthusiasm in Mr. Higgins's opinion. "My name's Sora! These are my friends Donald," the duck scowled, " and Goofy!" the dog-like... thing... waved. "Who are you? Can you tell us where we are?"

Oh great, it was one of those 'heroes'. Well, he knew how to deal with those.

"I believe who I am is none of your concern, since you shouldn't be bothering complete strangers. Second, you are obviously at my house," Mr. Higgins stated, taking another spoonful of ice-cream. Playing around with the melting frozen treat, Mr. Higgins eyed the three strangers. The boy pouted, the duck looked pissed-off, and the dog looked... indifferent. Passive?

"But, that must mean you're one of the bad-guys!" the boy shouted after a considerable amount of thinking. Reaching his hands out, a light flashed and appeared the boy's weapon. Is that a key?

"Yeah right, 'hero'," Mr. Higgins said. "I've had about enough of you, so if you would you kindly leave."

But the boy didn't seem to grasp the concept that there's more than just good and evil. Lunging at Mr. Higgins, shouting out unnecessarily, the boy swung his key in a downward slashing motion. Ducking out of the way, Mr. Higgins looked in dismay at his favorite chair, split clean in half.

Okay, now he was officially pissed-off. Dashing into his house, careful to avoid the random spells of the duck and the wayward swinging of the dog's shield, he ran into the living room. Glancing to the fireplace, he slid forward, careful to avoid another swing of the key, only to see his coffee table burst into a shower of wood bits.

On Mr. Higgins's mantle rested his sword that he bought at the mall randomly. Unsheathing it quickly, he held it up in a ready stance just as the key came down at him again. Parrying the swing, he hit the key back, jumping to the side to avoid a fireball that caused his armchair to burst into flames.

Rage, which was not a word exactly fit to describe Mr. Higgins, filled his eyes. All of these things were treasures to him, and this kid was tearing his house apart! Grabbing a fire extinguisher, he quickly put out the burning armchair, afterwards chucking it at the duck. It hit the monster square on it's forehead with a reassuring 'thud.

"Donald!" the strange dog thing shouted, running over to it's fallen comrade. The boy paid no attention, seeming bend on destroying the whole house. Dispelling fire from his key, now the freaking boy could do magic, the boy quickly set most of Mr. Higgins's possessions on fire. Frantically trying to put the fires out, Mr. Higgins used every last bit of his extinguisher.

They boy seemed to have a limitless amount of energy, taking cheap shots at Mr. Higgins as he tried to put out the fires. With one good whack, the boy hit Mr. Higgins right on the back of his head, knocking the man out.

Thinking that he killed the 'villain', the fact that just because the person was down didn't mean they were out, the boy set a few more things on fire just for the heck of it and bolted with his friends. Once out of the building, the three disappeared by whatever means they appeared earlier.

The house had burned down by the time the firemen came, digging the body of Mr. Higgins out of the wreckage. Apparently, he went mad and set his house on fire. Maybe by stabbing something electrical with that sword in his hand.

(You've obtained the keychain 'Sucker Punch'. This enhances your ability to hit people while they're distracted. Congratulations! Jerk)

YOUCANTALWAYSGETWHATYOUWANTBUTIFYOUTRYSOMETIMESYOUMIGHTFINDYOUGETWHATYOUNEED

SS: Yay, so much fun!!! I just love saying 'Mr. Higgins'! Whoo!!!

KI: I'm embarrassed to be here right now.

MD: Why am I here again?

KI: SS'll try to have the pic of 'Sucker Punch' up sometime on DA.

Ansem: If you'd review, that'd be fantastic. Shoop-de-woop!

SS: PS. Soup is awesomeness!


End file.
